The Role Fathers Play in Their Daughter's Health

On Father's Day, we celebrate the fathers who helped raise us, shape us, and define us. Fathers have an important role in not just their daughter's physical and moral upbringing, but also in their health. How's that, you say?

Fathers are often primary (or equal partner) caregivers - gone are the days when raising a child was purely women's work. Fathers now are present at doctor's appointments throughout pregnancy, in the delivery room, and from the very moment a child comes home. Fathers are responsible for cleaning, protecting, and feeding their daughters right from the start.

Fathers cook - some of the greatest chefs in the world are men, and some of the best home cooks are men too - and we're not just talking BBQ! Many spouses/partners don't like to cook, and many men do, so there's no reason a father can't contribute to his daughter's health by consciously cooking and incorporating healthy, diverse foods into his daughter's diet. Even with the old standbys, fathers can opt to make it healthy - try veggie ground round tacos instead of beef, turkey burgers instead of red meat, vegetarian pizza instead of the carnivore's version. Your daughter's health will benefit, and so will that of the entire family. Teach her to cook, and she will have a valuable life skill.

Fathers are active - if it's true that men love watching sports, it's equally true that men love participating in sports, whether as a coach, a teacher, or a player. By modelling a love of healthy activity, your daughter will come to love movement and play too, which contributes to both mental and physical health. Coaching or teaching your daughter can pass on your own love of a sport, offer healthy role models for engagement and attachment, allow you fun-filled ways to impart healthy life lessons, and contribute to valuable shared time. And when you maintain your own physical fitness program, again, you are modelling healthy behavior for your daughter, for the rest of her life.

Fathers contribute to self-esteem - all girls go through a phase where they are "daddy's girls," where the need for the love and adoration of their father far surpasses any desire they have had for their mothers. Fathers need to respond to this need for attention with positive, age-suitable, healthy and open support. Fathers need to encourage and praise their daughters for their successes, and be conscious of the sharp and lasting impact of criticism. Likewise, teasing can be diminishing for a girl's fragile and developing self-esteem. Encourage your daughter's healthy self-esteem by treating the other women and girls in your life well, and your daughter will learn how she should be treated.

Proud to be Affiliated with inCYST for PCOS Education

I'm proud to announce my affiliation with Monika Woolsey, RD, the dietician who founded inCYST, an educational and service organization for women with PCOS. Monika has a wealth of knowledge on this topic, and is especially sensitive to the emotional needs of women with PCOS, as well as other endocrine conditions. In addition to offering dietary counsel, she has assembled an amazing team of professionals in southern California - physicians, dieticians, and counselors who are passionate about treating the full person. I believe strongly in an inter-disciplinary approach to disease management. With PCOS, nothing less is effective.

Check out the inCYST blog right here on blogger.

Why Are We So Adept at Practicing Avoidance?

I have a theory about the practice of avoidance - when you're assiduously avoiding doing something, it's probably because you don't want to do it. Pretty obvious, right? Who feels like filing a stack of documents, cleaning up the dishes, clearing out the garage, making those five phone calls you promised to make seeking donations for your favorite charity?

But let's look a little bit deeper at what comes up with avoidance. Is it guilt, shame, anger at whoever's putting pressure on you? Often, avoidance creates a mix of emotions, none of which feel pleasant. Quite often, you know that just executing the task will result in relief, so what's the payoff in torturing yourself?

Avoidance is often a symptom that covers fear, anger, or perfectionism, or again, all of these plus others I haven't identified. Sometimes, we're awash in confusing emotions, which deepen the urge to avoid. There's fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, or not doing it well enough. Anger at being told what to do by someone else - or knowing that someone else should be doing whatever it is you're avoiding. And perfectionism is about all of these things - the fear of failure is so pervasive - that sense of not being good enough.

What if you could imagine that everything you do is good enough, at least for this moment? Would you still be practicing avoidance?